Don’t let ‘little voices’ screw you over
Recently I was in Dublin, Ireland for an internet marketing conference with some of my colleges. While there where many great speakers at the event one of the ones that most stuck out and stayed in my mind was actually a person who knows very little about the internet marketing business. His name was Jason Chessar and while he spoke about several things the thing that I really was able to relate to was his idea of ‘little voices’.
So what are little voices? Well they are doubts, they are fears, they are yourself telling you not to do something, that something terrible is going to happen, that things are not going to work out well, that you are wasting your time. They are the voice in your head that is a manifestation of your own insecurities that often irrationally keep you down. I personally heard ‘little voices’ twice on my trip to Dublin. The first was before I even got on the plane:
Something that surprised just about everyone at the event who knew me was when they found out that despite being almost 40 years old (uggg) and having an income that makes me a top 1% earner in the United States I have never left the country before that event. Why? Because I hate flying. Im a bit claustrophobic. I am uncomfortable in small spaces, especially small spaces with lots of people. Basically being in a plane really sucks for me. While I have flown all over the United States I refused to fly internationally up until Declan finally convinced me to attend his Ireland event because I just knew being on the plane for more than a couple of hours was going to be terrible.
Only it wasn’t. It was uncomfortable for sure, but it was not nearly as bad as the ‘little voices’ in my head had been telling me it would be all these years. In fact after landing in Dublin one of the first thoughts I had was that all of these years I could have been exploring the rest of the world and didn’t because I had an irrational fear that the flight would be some kind of living hell. I also realized that given that it was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be a whole new world of experiences just opened up to me. Boy was I glad that I finally stopped listening to that voice.
The second time I heard ‘little voices’ started about an hour before I was scheduled to give my presentation (I was a speaker at the event). While I tried my hardest not to show it, the truth is I was scared as hell. I’m not sure why I was scared. I am quite successful, experienced and knowledgeable in this business. I certainly had plenty of valuable information to share. But these little voices kept telling me that people would not like my speech. That my presentation would be bad. That I would make myself look foolish or that I would seem like an idiot. It was an irrational fear, but a fear that was instilled by the ‘little voices’ in my head. Voices that where so loud that I almost told the event host that I would not be able to give my presentation.
Only I did give it, and while I was a bit uncomfortable, over all it was not so bad. In fact several people approached me thought the day after my presentation to tell me how much they enjoyed it, a sentiment that I believe was genuine given the fact that people where quoting some of the things I said in my speech when talking among themselves several hours later when having drinks after dinner (I over heard them).
Had I listened to the ‘little voices’ in my head and reneged on my agreement to give a presentation I would have made myself look bad, and the irony is that I almost did that because I was afraid to make myself look bad. Instead I ignored the voices, sucked it up and did something I was not at all comfortable with and ended up making myself look pretty good.
These are just two examples, that recently happened to me. But the truth is that I, like many people, hear ‘little voices’ all the time. In my personal life and in my business. They tell me not ask that cashier out who keeps flirting with me at the coffee shop. They tell me not to double up on my Facebook ad spend or try a new type of landing page. They tell me that I shouldnt take a bit of a risk and they try to keep me isolated, and stagnated.
Sometimes ‘little voices’ are a good thing. When the voice in my head tells me not to have one more beer because I have to drive home in an hour its a good thing. When the little voice told me not to go swimming in the ocean at night during a thunderstorm I did well to listen to it (because while it would have been exciting as hell, I’m at best a fair swimmer).
When the ‘little voices’ keep you from doing something stupid its good. However when the ‘little voices’ keep you from diversifying, expanding, moving forward, or taking moderate risks out of fear of failure or rejection they often are just screwing you over. In that case you need to tell them to shut up, and ignore them because if we all listened to those ‘little voices’ no one would ever get anywhere, in life or in business.
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Hey Brett, we all have little voices, I believe that! Young and old, black, white, green, rich or poor… we are all the same in that we put our pants on one leg at a time!
I understand the fear you had prior to giving your presentation and I have experienced fear many times… but you can’t have courage without fear!
At the end of the day, you ARE successful! So if someone in the audience didn’t relate to what you said in your speech, who gives a rip? I’m sure you know as well as I do that we can’t please everybody (so now I don’t even try!) Before you give your next presentation, focus on the help that many will be receiving from you and not the one or few who (may) not get or appreciate it!
I enjoyed your post because it’s incredibly accurate and I think everyone will resonate with it. As for the claustrophobia, I used to suffer from it to but then I went back working as an electrician (and of course we have to crawl through tight places at times) and I just had to overtalk those voices in my head telling me I panicked in tight places. It worked although I still have to prime myself sometimes, even now.
Hey Brett, thanks for the info and the heads up, I have not done this for over 10 years, seems like I have a lot of catching up to do, Gosh ten years ago and Facebook was just starting hard to imagine good luck in the future, i´ll keep an eye out for any of your software so I can promote it in the future.
cheers Ian
Hi Brett, Great article and makes so much sense, I hear that little PR all the time, don’t do this, don’t do that, can’t you read the signs…lol.. Actually worse then a wife, nag, nag, nag..
I’ve been building websites for a LONG time and see tons of “so-called” mobile friendly desktop sites that are supposed to look good on mobile but they look like crap and/or a ton of other issues. So I’ve been thinking for a while now, (several months) “what if I used one of my mobile website templates and made it look good on desktop” (reversed from desktop to mobile). But that stupid little voice kept telling me “no it won’t work”. Well my nephew wants a site so I told the “nag” I’m going to try it, looking good so far eh.
Take care,
Al
Thanks Brett, great article.
I get those too. I suppose we all do. I did a bit of sports psychology and this topic is well documented. These little voices can sometimes destroy a sportsman’s game and confidence.
They interfere with muscle tension and screw up your shot in sports like soccer, golf, tennis…etc.. Following the little voice, a signal is received from the brain, making the muscle tense as you are taking the shot. So you’ll need to break that signal and let automation take over. One way of doing that for example in tennis is to repeat: Bounce…Hit…..Bounce…Hit…..Bounce…Hit…..as the ball bounces and as you hit the ball. This eliminates brain interference, the muscle becomes relaxed and the skill takes over and produces better shot. I practiced this myself and I’ve coached using this method and it works most of the time. I suppose it’s the same in other areas of life, you need to occupy the brain, think and do other things to block those little voices. .
Thanks Brett,
Well spoken and good of you to talk about the ‘little voices’.
As you said the ‘voices’ affect our personal as well as professional lives. I can only speak for myself but each time the ‘voices’ have spoken to me it has been for my own benefit. Lord only knows where I’d be today if I’d only listened more.
As it relates to IM and my experience I’ve not made any money yet and I have more than my share of nay-sayers in my life. But my ‘voices’ keep telling me to trudge on…to stick with it…keep trying. I feel that applying common sense and using good tools provided by seasoned experts like you that I will eventually cash a check. Thanks again for your post, makes me feel certain I’m on the right path.
Great insight Brett! I’ve been behind the scenes working with CPA and Amazon/Adsense niche sites since 2007. I’ve done so much with trying NOT to be in front of the scenes in my online business that I realized a few months ago, it has held me back. I’ve made money yes, but not what I could have if I did things differently by putting myself out there more. A few months ago, a well-known and established marketer I’ve known for some time now explained what I needed to do differently. She explained that I have more knowledge in this business than I give myself credit for and could really help others learn what I know. She shared how I have an attractive personality that would attract people as well. That ‘little voice’ has held me back for many years and I have already taken steps to push past that ‘voice’ and do what my friend told me to do. I’m not asking why, I’m just following her guidance. It’s tough doing the opposite of what the voice is telling me to do, but I became successful in my corporate career by ignoring it for years. I am now learning how to do the same with my online career. Thank you for sharing Brett, it’s nice knowing I’m not alone.
Hi Brett:
Thanks for sharing this. We all have this habit of looking at someone who is successful in what we are just starting out in and assuming they had no challenges, that it’s easy for them. Sharing this helped me realize, it isn’t easy for anyone…we all have our own battles and demons to overcome.
I’ve battled little voices my entire life. I think those voices are instilled when we are so young we have no defense against them and whenever a situation comes up that is even vaguely similar to when that particular voice was first instilled, we react exactly the same as we did then, regardless if were were 2 or 42.
Today I am older than you are, and, still battle voices. I’ve pushed past those voices, many times and it has always been a good thing. When I was 30 and had danced professionally I planned to open a ballet school in the very small town we lived in. My ex husband and mother, literally everyone around me said I couldn’t do it. But I did it anyway, pushed aside the fear and the insecurity. 3 years later the Royal Academy came to our tiny town to examine my students. Something that was never done before or since…That town is in the farthest reaches of Northern British Columbia!
Later, in 1996, I took the opportunity afforded by the Canadian Government to become a Network Administrator. The Internet and WANS and LANS were exploding then and Network Engineers were in high demand. I was told you’ll never do this, women aren’t good at technology, or math or science and besides the internet is just a fad. Not to mention I was then 46 yrs old! (LOL) Again I pushed through it…and here we are 22 years later and the internet is definitely here to stay. That was the best decision I ever made. In that 10 month course I was the only woman and 4 of the men that finished all 7 Novell exams, CNE and an MCSE. (30 started the program 5 women and 25 men – the men were all electronics engineers or telecom engineers, I was a former ballet teacher LOL) Working in the field was an uphill battle but I persevered and was fortunate to be there when HTML came into being and JAVA and JQuery, Data bases etc. etc. I eventually switched to web development because it satisfied my creative urge as well as being technical.
Now I’m learning from you more about Internet Marketing. I’ve made money online over the years, but I’ve never actually focused on that aspect. Now I’m retired, I have the time to learn new things. I’ve taken many courses over the years, graphic design being one of them (much needed if you’re going to work on line right?) and every day I make a commitment to learn something new.
Those voices are still there. But I’ve learned they’re not real. They don’t know what they’re talking about. If you push through, they are finally silenced and you’ll surprise yourself with what you can do. Voices, and people around you, only have the power over you that you are willing to give them. Just tell them to “piss off”. and they’re gone. 🙂
We all have ‘little voices’ regardless of if we are new, or of we are well established.
Those little voices keeps us on our comfort zone. It’s always challenge, but it wotth when you overcome them.
Exactly!
FEAR : FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL ! I learned that from listening to Zig Ziglar many years ago . fight the negative voices and tell them the shut up.
Hi Brett,
Those little voices are stopping me purchasing a product as I am asking myself can it be as good as the sales spiel.
I watched a short video of you recommending Cindy Donovan’s Covert Commissions 2.0 when you were in Dublin. I cant cant find the video now and wondered if you would be doing a full review for us to learn more about this product?
Im sorry but I offered a limited time bonus when I promoted Cindy’s Covert Commission system, that bonus has ended, so my video page was removed. Even so Covert Commission is well worth considering. I would not recommend it if it wasn’t. PS) This is a great example of how ‘little voices’ can screw you, as you could have gotten a great system and a great bonus, and in reality there was ZERO risk on your part since Cindy is a moral vendor and offers a 30 day refund period.
Hi Brett,
I viewed the video and thought it was interesting but was literally leaving the house for a few days so when I returned saw that I had missed the offer but I see Cindy’s offer is still available so will go for it.
That little voice is now a guard. Started out as a guardian. Got greedy. Wants to stay in it;s comfort zone no matter what. Don’t listen. Quiet it down. Your thoughts, that little voice, is leaves floating on a river. Let them talk and slip away…