Sometimes people make it hard to be nice to them

Posted September 26, 2017 by Brett Rutecky in Training Articles

One of the things I love doing is my own support. I really want to help people (who want to help themselves) and I really want people to know that I personally care about them.

But it can be hard sometimes. Today I want to share a conversation I had with  someone who made a purchase though my affiliate link and could not claim the bonus I offered.  She seemed upset so I tried to explain the reason was because the bonus period expired and one of the clear requirements for claiming the bonus was that she needed to do so before a specific time period. I tried to make her understand why I have  this requirement, and to remind her that I was  very clear about this requirement as well. Unfortunately the more I tried to reason with her the more upset she got. Below is the full dialog (the only changes is I corrected my spelling / typos):


Jude Friday 17:07

I don’t know how to access. It would be helpful if you can provide a link or specific steps on how to access it. Thanks.

To Your Personal and Professional Success,


Brett Rutecky Saturday 16:12 (assign)

Log into JVZoo

View your receipt for 1 click

Click the button at the bottom for my bonus.



Jude Today 06:31

Brett, I don’t see it. Can’t you just send me a link to the product as it’s easier that way?

To Your Personal and Professional Success,

Jude Overo


Brett Rutecky Today 16:04

Well no thats because the bonus period expired and I removed it as I said I was going to.

Why did you not follow the instructions in the bonus page and claim your access in JVZoo right away?

Or why did you wait 2 days after I answered your ticket to follow my instructions?




Jude Today 16:50


This is so unprofessional. Considering that I have purchased your other products (Mailit) and I bought WP-1 Click (including 2 OTOs) from your affiliate, most affiliates would send the link. Are you that negative and difficult to not see the obvious? You sent me the email from which I bought from you. Your instructions were not clear and easy to follow.

If you don’t want to do something as simple as sending me that product which you verbally stated you would if I bought from you. That is deceptive and to be honest fraudulent. This type of action is only going to affect your business down the line as less people will buy from you. There is a saying, you can spend 10 years building up your reputation and ruin it in 10 seconds. Good Luck.

To Your Personal and Professional Success,


Brett Rutecky Today 17:01 (assign)

“This is so unprofessional.”

Its so unprofessional to ask you why you chose not to follow the instructions I gave  (that everyone else did) and to ask you why you

did waited 2 days after I responded to your question to follow those instructions?


“If you don’t want to do something as simple as sending me that product which you verbally stated you would if I bought from you”

Its not that simple, this is a SaaS, normally people cant create free accounts I have to add special code to the system to allow it to happen, that free code is a bit of a security issue.

This is why my bonuses are time limited, and why I say many times in by bonus videos that people need to access their bonus right away.

That code has been removed. There is no ‘link’ to send you.


“That is deceptive and to be honest fraudulent.”

I said MANY times in  the bonus video that you MUST access your bonus before the timer runs out? How is sticking to what I stated deceptive?


“Your instructions were not clear and easy to follow.”

Here is the bonus video:

Watch the video from 10:30 on and tell me what part was unclear?


Be honest Jude, you ignored the instructions I initially gave, ignored the instructions in my response to you, chose not to follow them like everyone else,

and now your upset. But degrading me for you choosing to not follow the instructions is NOT going to make me want to go out of my way for you, its

counter productive to what you want to happen. You should follow your own advice. If you had messaged me back and said “I didn’t listen, Im sorry can you help me” I

would have spend the next hour putting the code back into the system for you, so you can create your account, but frankly you going out of your way to insult me

for a mistake you made does not make me want to do that very much. Honestly it sounds like you need to take your own advise.




Jude Today 18:49


Bottom line is that I have dealt with other affiliate marketers that have their own products. The simple remedy was to send a link (via different secure sharing channels) directly to me when I asked you the second time. So your safety response is at best inexcusable.

This exchange between us has given me a in-depth revelation of your personality type and psyche as a businessman. Sadly, you forgot the number rule in business especially b2c…treat your customers well. You would pen a long response to a customer that bought from you rather than give him a link to the product that you were going to give to him if he bought from you. Defending that position reveals your dodgy character.

If I posted this exchange on your facebook, how would the optics of your professionalism and image would look like? I thought as a business owner, you would have a little common-sense and just say “this guy may not comprehended what I said in the video but shit he did buy from me as opposed to the other affiliates that he could have bought from”. This lack of deductive reasoning shows why you’re not a customer-focused individual and also why I will never do business with you again even if your products are great. Don’t worry, I’m not going to post anything on facebook and ruin your reputation, Karma will do that.

To Your Personal and Professional Success,


Brett Rutecky less than a minute ago

No Jude, the bottom line is I was VERY clear on the requirements for claiming the bonus I offered. You chose not to follow them (like everyone else) and then instead of just accepting responsibility for  that and asking me to do a little extra for you, you decided to attack and degrade me.

At this point I think it is best if you don’t buy through my affiliate link anymore as you stated for both of us.

Have a great rest of your week!



PS) Ill actually share this exchange on Facebook myself. I have done or said nothing here that I am embarrassed about.

PSS) I find it very interesting that somehow me respecting you and taking the time to explain why I have these strict rules for accessing my bonuses somehow makes me a ‘dodgy character’ 🙂





 A quick note about the reviews I do on this site. The product vendors give me access to their products for free in order for me to do my review. However I make no promises to them regarding the results of my tests or what I will write in my review. Should you click a link that takes you to a sales page for a paid product for sale this link will be an affiliate link and I will be paid a percentage of the sales price should you decide to invest in it.

About the Author

Brett Rutecky

Brett Rutecky is a full time online marketer, web developer, and entrepreneur. He has developed scores of Facebook apps, dozens of custom web sites and hundreds of scripts.



    Good for you Brett.I have missed out your bonuses in the past and all I did was swear at myself a few times, then moved on. You always give clear instructions and you always remind us that you are not into false scarcity and have demonstrated that many times and this is business not the playground. Thanks for sharing!

    Got to get back to laundry.



    I’m a big believer in going the extra mile for my customers, and I always try to adhere to the philosophy that the customer is always right. That said, I have no problem with how you handled this, Brett.

    People who can’t follow directions, then come back with demands and insults seem to forget that they are not the only human being in the exchange, nor the only one who has time and energy constraints, etc.

    In short, they have a right to their attitude and I will defend that (I’ve taken an attitude myself from time to time), but they do not endear themselves to anyone and are not the kind of customers anyone really needs.


    Well Brett, I have done the same thing and missed your bonus, I knew it was my fault!
    I accepted MY MISTAKE ! Too many people today think they’re more special than anyone else.
    You always stand by your word and that’s what has helped you develop your base There’s nothing wrong with keeping your word .
    I have learned from you to act when you say it is limited time offer!
    I commend you for standing your ground , and it’s a shame you had to defend yourself !


    I am on the fence with this one as I have been guilty of not reading instructions, either due to time pressure or pure laziness.

    However knowing how I am, I then make the same allowances for all my customers and will bend over backwards to help out. I have a website that sells an ebook making app and despite very clear instructions for them to also gain access to free images and backgrounds, I often get emails where they clearly have not followed those instructions.

    Rather than argue the point which invariably ends up with the customer feeling hostile towards you, I give them access and that makes me feel better knowing they are a happy bunny.

    I know this is different where a time limited offer is imposed, however being a bit of a softy I would probably still help out a client/customer to access what was originally offered.


      Your right, I probably could have gone out of my way more for this person, and I probably would have if he was nicer to me. Im also sure that a part of my reason for choosing not to is how rude and aggressive this person was. I am a human being to and frankly I sometimes don’t want to go the ‘extra mile’ for someone who is mean.

      I did give this person the opportunity to be nice though, I initially asked why he did not follow the instructions. I was looking for a reason to make an exception for him. However instead of giving any reason at all, he went right into attacking and insulting me. It was at that point I chose not to do a little extra. People generally dont like to go out of their way to be nice to people who go out of their way to be mean to them. Im a person to 🙂

    Edgar Allen

    Dear Brett –

    I completely agree with your assessment of a difficult customer and can understand why you felt like replying to him as you did.

    I’ve missed a deadline you once put on a bonus (didn’t buy in time) and I understood the consequence and accepted it. It absolutely did increase your credibility and integrity in my mind.

    That being said, my manner of response would have been a tad different to this particular customer. My initial response would have been to reply explaining how difficult it would be to accommodate the request and stating you would see what you could do.

    The second exchange would have been apologetic explaining that you’ve looked at the problem in depth and are still trying to devise a solution for him – with the “coding” explanation.

    The third message from you would then be you would create specific code to make the request possible for your customer to get access…and ask for a day or two to get it done.

    Then just do it and make the customer happy.

    Yes, I know it’s a bit of BS and situation manipulation. But, if you determine up front that you’ll do it, this kind of exchange that will bring you the most benefit and create a hero “halo” for you. (Which is better than an embittered former customer.) You’d probably create a customer for life.

    Sometimes the “perceived reality” of a client is the more important thing.

    Anyway, I do get your frustration. Being a business owner can be really tough some days. I *love* your work and your style. However, because I’m a buyer and seller (as you probably are, also), I also understand this guy was not acting as a mature adult-which can be extra challenging.

    Keep on rockin’ — Edgar

    Mark Butts

    Brett, I think you were spot on! If you would have accommodated the customer, then you would have enabled his lack of taking responsibility. If you do it for one customer who doesn’t follow instructions, then you would have to do it also for the next one, and the next one after that, and so on…starting a bad precedent. Why can’t people just accept responsibility and quit whining? I think you were right (and I am not a cynic).


    I think Brett’s response was pretty much on the mark! One thing we all know about Brett Rutecky is that he’s a man of his word; he doesn’t offer ‘false’ scarcity and if he says something will run out at this time – it WILL run out at that time! In my opinion this is much easier to deal with than marketers who use scarcity and then the offer is still up hours after the timer hits zero! And I’m sure the last thing Brett wants is to have to take his valuable time doing extra work for a bunch of customers because they didn’t follow clear instructions, by setting a bad precedent like Mark mentioned above.

    Jude Overo, I would suggest you read “Skill With People” by Les Giblin. Until you do, please stop breeding!

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